When you fall in love with a man who cannot commit, you do so at your
peril. Make no mistake about it, a man who cannot commit is a man who is
afraid to commit. It does not matter if his fears are rational or
irrational, what matters is that he puts his cards on the table, and
most always with panache.
So what about men in their plus 40s and the women who date them? Actually dating them is not the problem—the problem is falling in love with them.
Never date a man who cannot commit unless you are certain you will not give him your heart.
These men often sincerely love, but just to a point. As such you
might find yourself saying, "I know what he's like, but we have such fun
together, it's OK if it is just temporary." But in your heart of
hearts, is temporary really what you want?
So the question is this. Should women spend time, energy, and emotions
on a man who may never be a part of their future? Keep in mind that he
may have a list of ideals—and you may well meet his 50 requirements. But
once he realizes this, he will add another challenge, and then another.
For you, it's about risks and benefits.
4 big risks in dating a man who can't commit
Perspective: As the two of you become increasingly intimate,
you begin to think to yourself—"I know he really likes me. I give him
unlimited space, we laugh a lot. This can work." Pinch yourself. You're delusional.
Self-Esteem: As
you invest more of yourself in Mr. Non-Commitment, and he does not
return the affection in little ways, you begin to feel unworthy. (What
little ways? A card. Spur of the moment text. Week-end calls. (Even the
Beltway Bachelor says no week-end call is a red flag.) A little gift.
Flowers for no reason at all. None of this will happen. Snap out of it.
It's not you. It's him.
Time: The time you invest in the man whom you wish could be
Mr. Right, but who does not want to be anyone's Mr. Right, is time you
take away from finding a loving companion.
Heartbreak: If you are willing to risk the heartbreak of a man who cannot commit just make certain he is worthy of your tears.
Also, when the day comes for you to admit that he was you wishful-thinking-fantasy, you want to remain grateful for the joy you shared. So get out before you become angry. Bitterness is bad for your skin.
Is there any benefit to dating a man who cannot commit?
That is a question that each woman must answer for herself when she
looks in the mirror and says, "I am hopelessly in love, but he is never
going to marry me. Now what?"
But my opinion about this? Its pointless! Men who can't commit sap women's time and energy.
Please feel free to share your thoughts on it ...
Originally written by : Rita Watson
Tags; Love, Rita Watscon , Love and Gratitude
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